Online Stalking Tips For Amateurs

17 May

Feel a strong admiration for somebody, even towards a total stranger on the web?

Single and in need to mingle from afar?

Weird, aloof with strong obsessive tendencies?

Why not try the most ancient internet craze?!

Go ONLINE STALKING.

Below are some terms you should remember:

Stalker– the one stalking. Also predator.

Stalkee– the one being stalked. A.k.a prey

Online– pertains to the internet or anything therein.

Online stalking is a science and an art form.

As a science, it undergoes certain processes.

  1. Join a social networking site
  2. Find a prey
  3. Find out everything you can about your target especially the websites he goes to, their different account names, etc.
  4. Follow your prey wherever he goes online.
  5. Find out more about your prey.
  6. Follow your prey some more.
  7. Hope and pray that your stalking will make the person you admire like you.

As an art, it requires skills and creativity. Both of which are something most people lack.

When stalking remember the DOs as well as the DON’Ts.

DO be courteous. Just because you’re stalking doesn’t mean you have to be disrespectful.

DO have access to internet 24/7. After all, you are stalking online.

DO add your prey’s contacts to your own. That way, you get to see what your prey comments to others.

DO find out what your prey likes, hates and loves.

DO map out the onset, frequency, and duration of time your prey goes online.

DO conceal yourself as much as possible. Stalk invisibly.

DON’T like all of your prey’s post. Discriminate at times. They will notice.

DON’T try chatting or talking with your prey live. Otherwise it wouldn’t be stalking anymore.

DON’T post things that are seemingly related to your prey’s post.

DON’T make a single account dedicated for a single person only. E.g in tumblr.

DON’T ask weird, bizarre and perverted questions anonymously.

DON’T harass your prey.

DON’T miss an opportunity to stalk.

DON’T neglect your own needs. Eat, pray and love.

DON’T over feed your neurotic thoughts. It might become a psychosis.

Online stalking may sound pretty easy but it has a complex body of Knowledge, mind you.

Do well to remember the basics and you’ll read the almost inexistant benefits of online stalking~!

Who knows? Somebody might be stalking you right now.

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